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Jermania 2017
Jermania 2017 was the third Jermania, and the second to be livestreamed on Twitch. It occurred on August 3, 2017, and the recording was released on YouTube on September 19 that same year. Summary Pre-Jermania Battle Royale For some reason, Jerma decided to stream a random, meaningless battle royale match right before the Jermania festivities actually began. This was a six-man battle royale between the Archmage, Paul Bearer, Orson Welles, James Madison, Byeah #882, and Agent 47, who were all outdated stream memes at that point. Agent 47 was the winner in the end, though it doesn't really matter. Pre-Show Jerma comes down to the ring for the opening remarks as usual, having apparently gained a lot of weight in the past year. He said pretty much the same thing he said in Jermania 2016, but trashing the town of Arlington, Texas instead, and generally making an ass of himself in front of thousands. Preliminary Matches Backstage Brawl Word got out that apparently Sluggo was attacking last year's Jermania champion, the Fire Serpent, backstage, so the cameras cut to show that. The damages are intense, including the destruction of a TV in one of the dressing rooms. The Fire Serpent ended the short brawl by powerbombing Sluggo into a backpack on the floor, knocking him out. 2v1 Handicap Tag Team Match The first official match of the evening was a two-on-one tag team match pitting Jerma against Team VR, composed of the VR Guy and his PSVR. Although the VR Guy did end up completely whiffing a few attacks thanks to his VR headset, he was able to stay on top for most of the match, outclassing Jerma's substandard physique and technique. After dealing some heavy blows, the VR Guy tagged out with PSVR, who had the advantage of not wearing a VR headset and managed to pin Jerma to win the match. Intermission 1 Captain Cheez-It enters the ring with a microphone for a promo, where he sets the record straight on his wrestling prowess and calls out Charlie Cheese Nips. Charlie emerges to face the Captain, and the two agree to have a face-off later that night to see which cheese cracker snack is better. However, after the cameras cut away to a commercial break, Charlie Cheese Nips sucker punches Captain Cheez-It and hits him with a body-slam from the top turnbuckle. Enraged, Captain Cheez-It fights back, but Charlie throws him out of the ring matador-style, humiliating him. The fight is eventually stopped by a referee, who charges into the ring to try to restrain Charlie. The final outcome of this battle would have to wait. 6-Man Elimination Tag Team Match The next official match was a tag-team elimination match of the Vump family comprised of Earl, Peggy, and Rodney Vump, facing off against The Movies actors the Gorilla Reading a Book, the Orang-utan, and Harold Sludge. Rodney Vump and the Gorilla were the first to enter the ring. After only a short time, Rodney Vump has the Gorilla in a cobra clutch pin. Fearing for the Gorilla, his fellow actors flood the ring, and the Vumps follow suit. Once the Gorilla is free, the referee gets both teams to return to ringside. The Gorilla tags out with Harold Sludge, so Rodney tags out with Peggy in response. Peggy goes on to beat Harold to a pulp, not caring how many upskirt shots the camera got of her. The fight rages on, the wrestlers beating each other up and tagging out until the Gorilla finally used a weird reverse crab walk to go pin Peggy, eliminating her. The match would only get crazier from here, including wrestlers attacking each other without being tagged in and the Orang-utan even attacking the referee. Rodney is next to be pinned, and the lone Earl is inevitably eliminated as well, ending the match. Singles Match - Extreme Rules The grudge match between Captain Cheez-It and Charlie Cheese Nips finally arrived in the form of a simple singles match with extreme rules. From the start, the event commentator was clearly biased towards Captain Cheez-It. The match is fairly even for quite a while, though the Captain eventually feels a need to retrieve a kendo stick from under the ring to fight with. As the fight rages on, it becomes more and more clear that Captain Cheez-It is overpowering Charlie Cheese Nips, even causing him to bleed at one point. He also performs a special move on Charlie, elbow-dropping him ten times consecutively. However, Charlie doesn't go down without a fight, and later grabs a folding chair to even the odds. This doesn't help his case much though, and Captain Cheez-It quickly disarms and pins him, claiming victory for Cheez-Its everywhere. Triple Threat Tables Match The next match is a triple threat tables match starring three FMV game characters: the SWAT Granny, the Prospector from Fast Draw Showdown, and Ned "Wirehead" Hubbard. While SWAT Granny attacks Wirehead, the Prospector immediately goes for the tables and gets them both into the ring. The three of them all start messing around hitting each other with the tables and not really trying to break them. The fight actually doesn't last very long though, and promptly ends when Wirehead powerbombs SWAT Granny through one of the tables while it's propped up in the corner. Triple Threat Hell in a Cell Match Next up was another triple threat, this time in the form of a hell in a cell match involving Garfield-related characters. This match is between The Censor Bar, Garfield the Cat, and James Garfield. The Censor Bar immediately leaves the ring and waits it out while Garfield and James Garfield duke it out, but then gets bored and goes in to beat up Garfield too. He soons regrets this, as Garfield hits him with a belly-to-belly suplex and he rolls back out of the ring to take a breather. Not much is going on in the ring, and the crowd starts trying to fire them up. James Garfield attempts a spinning roundhouse kick, but trips and gets kneed in the stomach by Garfield for it. The fight goes on, and eventually James Garfield catches The Censor Bar in a hurricanrana off the top rope and ends up pinning him, winning the match. Intermission 2 Before the main event of the night, the Jerma Rumble, a moment of silence is held in memory of all those who were lost on-stream in the past year. This includes Nightwing from Batman: Arkham VR, the Sherriff from Fast Draw Showdown, Chris Hartley from Until Dawn, everyone in Late Shift, the Boy from The Last Guardian, Sluggo (who apparently died after his fight with the Fire Serpent), and the SWAT Grandma (who apparently died after being powerbombed through a table by Wirehead). Main Event - Jerma Rumble Like last year's Jermania, a Jerma Rumble was held as the main event of the night. Also just like last year, there was some unforeseen time manipulation involved that messed with the timeline. The First Rumble (Non-Canon) The Rumble begins right after the moment of silence. Bootleg Duck Dynasty Byeah Batman, or BDDBB for short, arrives on a motorcycle and PSVR dances his way around the ring; these are the first two contestants of the Jermania 2017 Jerma Rumble. The Analander is the first wrestler to be called in, followed by Louie Anderson and Widowmaker. PSVR eliminates the Analander, and top seed Dr. Oetker enters the ring. He deals a blow to BDDBB's face that causes him to start bleeding before quickly eliminating him. The VR Guy enters the ring and goes to help his partner PSVR, and Frogmin arrives soon after. Dr. Oetker eliminates Widowmaker, and Dr. Mosquito enters the ring. Dr. Oetker continues his streak as he overhead military presses Louie Anderson out of the ring, and James Garfield shows up to take his place. However, Dr. Oetker evens the numbers out again by eliminating PSVR. Frogmin eliminates the VR Guy as well, and Charlie Cheese Nips and Wirehead arrive with Wirehead quickly eliminating Dr. Mosquito. Unfortunately, at the same time Frogmin finally manages to eliminate Dr. Oetker, dampening the spirits of the audience. James Garfield eliminate Frogmin in return with a dropkick to the face, and Earl Vump is next in the ring. Mr. Sneak Man also arrives, and Charlie Cheese Nips eliminates Wirehead. Rodney Vump enters and begins to help out his brother Earl, and Glue Man makes an entrance with a bit of theme music playing by accident. Charlie Cheese Nips quickly gets rid of Rodney, and Glue Man eliminates James Garfield too. Glue Man begins to showboat and hits Charlie Cheese Nips with a beautiful hurricanrana off the top rope, but Charlie targets him for it and eventually eliminates him with a fireman's carry drop. Peggy Vump, Jerma, and Jerma Moon all gradually enter the ring. Earl Vump dropkicks Mr. Sneak Man out of the ring, while Peggy does the same to get rid of Charlie Cheese Nips. In return however, Jerma Moon eliminates Peggy while Jerma eliminates Earl, cleaning the Vump family out of the Rumble. As time goes on, the Gorilla, Etalyx, and Andrew Jackerry Jacked all join the fray too. The Syringe Clown also enters, but is almost instantly eliminated in record time by Jerma Moon, lasting only 12 seconds in the ring. Jerma eliminates the Gorilla with a sweet chin music kick, and he later eliminates Jerma Moon as well. Excited by his victories, Jerma climbs to the top turnbuckle to perform a flying elbow-drop on the downed Etalyx. However, he hits the canvas so hard that the fabric of time is torn asunder, and time resets (read as: Jerma's game crashed, again). The Second Rumble After the time reset, Widowmaker and the Analander are the new first contestants in the Rumble. The order the wrestlers enter the ring is fairly similar to the first one, including BDDBB, Louie Anderson, Glue Man, and Dr. Oetker all being some of the first wrestlers. It takes a while for the first elimination to take place, and it's when Glue Man finally kicks BDDBB out. The VR Guy enters the ring, and Dr. Oetker gets rid of the Analander with a military press. Louie Anderson gets rid of Widowmaker, but Dr. Oetker gets him out too with a lariat to the face. Frogmin arrives next, followed by Dr. Mosquito and James Garfield. Glue Man manages to eliminate Dr. Oetker, and Charlie Cheese Nips enters the ring to quickly get rid of the VR Guy too. Glue Man also gets rid of James Garfield, and Dr. Mosquito eliminates Frogmin. Charlie Cheese Nips eliminates Glue Man, who is replaced by Wirehead and Mr. Sneak Man. Earl Vump also enters the ring, and gets rid of Charlie Cheese Nips. Rodney Vump and PSVR soon follow, but Mr. Sneak Man also eliminates Earl Vump. Peggy Vump arrives to avenge her brother, and Dr. Mosquito eliminates both Wirehead with a fireman's carry drop and Mr. Sneak Man with a punch to the face. Jerma enters the ring and eliminates Dr. Mosquito, and Jerma Moon enters too and eliminates PSVR. The commentator, remembering the last Rumble before the timeline split, begins fearing another time anomaly is coming when Peggy somehow takes off a turnbuckle. The Gorilla and Etalyx both appear, and soon Rodney Vump eliminates the Gorilla at the same time Jerma Moon eliminates Peggy, saving the Rumble. Andrew Jackerry Jacked enters next, followed by the Syringe Clown who is immediately attacked by the former. The commentator begins fearing again when Jerma has stayed in the Rumble for so long, remembering that he was responsible for the last time reset. Jerma Moon eliminates Rodney Vump, and Andrew Jackerry Jacked eliminates the Syringe Clown too. Garfield arrives and swiftly eliminates Etalyx, and Easy Pete shows up after him to eliminate Jerma Moon. Greg from Nvidia is next to appear, followed by the personification of Twitch Chat itself who makes a beeline for Jerma, eliminating him just as Garfield eliminates Easy Pete. Garfield moves to Andrew Jackerry Jacked next, getting rid of him too. John Marston arrives, followed by Captain Cheez-It and the final contestant, "the Hollow Knight" (even though it's actually just the Knight). Now with the final six wrestlers in the ring, things get heated. Twitch Chat eliminates Garfield with a spinning roundhouse kick, and Captain Cheez-It eliminates John Marston. Twitch Chat then gets rid of the Hollow Knight and Captain Cheez-It gets rid of Nvidia Greg too, narrowing it down to the final two. Exhausted, both of them take a moment to regain their bearings and have an intense staredown. Captain Cheez-It suddenly rushes Twitch Chat, catching it off guard and eliminating it, taking the title as the champion of the Rumble. Results Pre-Jermania Battle Royale Preliminary Matches Main Event - Jerma Rumble 'Rumble 1 (Non-Canon)' 'Rumble 2' External Links * Jermania 2017 full stream on YouTube Category:Jerma Rumble Category:Jermania - stream edition Category:JWF Events Category:Jerma Wrestling Federation